Dealing with Cringe

Have you ever felt cringe about something you did in the past? Me too, my friend—because I think that's normal.

I usually try not to think about it too much and just accept that I'm a better person now. It was just a phase, what we would call here in Indonesia the "Alay Phase" or something like that.

While deciding to start writing short essays about random topics and publishing them to my personal blog, I'm also thinking about their cringe potential. Will this backfire on me in the future? Will this be used against me?

But I've come to the conclusion that it's okay. I'm not posting anything controversial for now, and if it becomes controversial later, well, I can't control that. People are subject to change. What I am right now and what I'm writing now may contribute to defining who I am in the future, but I'm not in the future—I live in the present, right now.

And if people, if my friends ask what inspired me to write essays, to what end? Well, my inspiration comes from a book called "Essays in Idleness," which contains a compilation of short essays by Yoshida Kenkou, a Japanese Buddhist priest if I'm not mistaken.

And to what end? Nothing grand—just to pass time, declutter my thoughts, and yes, practice writing in English (not that my Indonesian is any better, though).

Who knows? Maybe in the future these short essays can become an anthology or compilation book.